So I am loving my job as the Nursery and Pre-k Coordinator. I work Sat- Mon and so far I like and I think I will like more as time goes on and I really am doing everything the job requires! It is stretching and challenging and will hopefully eventually be rewarding! :)
I am trying to stay positive and praise God through the tough times but if I can be completely honest right now I am just discouraged. And doing a lot of questioning.
Did I make the right decision in moving to Colorado?
Was it a mistake?
Is this just the enemy attacking me?
Am I doing something wrong?
Am I ever going to fit in here?
Should I fit in here?
Should I move back to Oklahoma in May where all my friends and community exists already?
Am I doing something wrong?
Am I not doing enough?
I miss my community more then ever right now. Probably because I don't have one here. I don't have anyone pouring into me or am I getting to pour into anyone else! Someone that I respect sooo much said to me, 'its not necessarily what you are doing but WHO you are doing it with'! Well did I make a mistake because I have no community here. Maybe I need to be patient and it will come but I freaking miss my friends! I even had a dream last night that they all surprised me and I was like screaming and crying and so happy at the same time. And then I woke up. Needless to say it hasn't been the greatest day. Besides missing everyone, I need a job and a vehicle. Am I not trusting God? Should I not be here? Am I not listening? Or did I not listen?
So many inputs, not enough kid
11 months ago
Hey girl. Well, strangely enough, I was reading that "Twentysomething" book just TODAY (you know...that book I supposedly read in Marcia Fiesel's class at one point--but didn't). Well, I'm reading it now and am really enjoying it. It talks about people like us and our quarterlife crisis. It really made me feel a lot better about exactly what you are talking about. You're not alone. There are TONS of people out there that owe mountains of student loans, are deciding weather to go to the movies or eat Ramen noodles for a week, and are questioning every job decision they ever made. You're not alone! :) I really encourage you to read it. I think it will encourage you a lot. You have a lot going for you girl. I'll be praying for you!
ReplyDeleteOh, Sweet Sara,
ReplyDeleteBelieve it or not a lot of what you are experiencing makes sense in light of the intense community you had here with Johnny and Brooke. You are also experiencing the transition back. It takes about this long for it to hit. Unfortunately it is part of the process, or not unfortunately. The Lord uses all things. I pray that during this dark time you will have peace and you will trust and wait. You might try to find a book and cultural re-entry. Even though it may not "feel" like it to you, it is very likely a very large piece of what you are going through. It does take time to build community, and I hope and pray you will find it there, but in most places it takes a while. Here it is forced on you out of need. You are a person who seeks the Lord and you were listening to him when you made the decision to move there. I pray comfort for you during these days and that the Lord will meet you in a very special way!
Sweet Friend I MISS YOU SOOOOO MUCH!!! I'm going to be praying for you and for your new job.
ReplyDeleteI struggle being here at ROC everyday and wonder if this is really what I'm supposed to be doing. On my desk I have a quote that says. "God's way is not the easy way, but it's the best way." Just keep praying, he'll show you what he wants you to do! :)
LOVE YOU!
welcome to my life ;) okay jk but I'll continue to pray for you- I know its SO HARD to not have that "community"
ReplyDelete