good news!

I had a conversation with one of the most influential mentors in my life (misty jaggers) before I moved to Colorado in faith. (That was a lot of prepositions in one sentence and is probably a run-on sentence. I probably should have paid more attention in 6th grade when we learned about them... oh well)

Anyway, I remember saying to her, I am not sure what Colorado holds for me, but I am SURE God's plan is bigger and better then I can imagine! Well, to be completely honest, I haven't really felt that the past few months I have been here.... Until last Monday... The church offered me another day of work and free housing! Which is huge! It is a pay raise, but more then that, it means privacy, no more commuting, being able to get more of a consistent community and schedule, and being able to do so much more!!

So on top of all of these huge blessings, there is something more. A huge desire of my heart lately, about the past year or so, has been to be a part of resident life again. I miss college, dorm life, and just that dynamic kind of living. Ok I don't really miss the sharing a room in a dorm, but there is something that is so dynamic about it all. I have this desire to be a resident director one day. And that could be because my RD was and is one of the biggest blessings in my life. She has no idea how much the Lord has used her in my life over and over again!

Ok so all that to say that I will be in charge of 5 summer interns starting in May! I will have two girl interns and 3 guy interns living in the intern house with me. Don't worry, girls and guys are separated!! I AM SO EXCITED! When the position was offered to me, my heart immediately just jumped at the idea! So I told them I wanted to pray about it first, and I did, and accepted on Wednesday! I will be moving to Grand Junction around May 20th! YAY!!!

God is faithful, even when I am not. THANK YOU LORD! AMEN!

Roller coaster!

I am daily reminded of what a roller coaster ride I am! My emotions are so inconsistent and its a daily walk of ups and downs.

Yesterday, being Easter and my favorite holiday and the busiest Sunday of the year at church, I was a bit up and down! I woke up to a text from my dad saying, He is risen and Happy Easter. It immediately started my day out right. Then I walked into the bathroom, bright and early (6:30am), to find an Easter basket from my mom. AND NOOOO!! IM NOT TOO OLD TO GET AN EASTER BASKET! It seriously put the biggest smile on my face! Followed by tears. She thinks it's just something small, but it means more then she'll ever know. I was flooded with the best memories from my childhood. Maybe that's some of why its my favorite holiday!

So with all of that being said, I cannot express what a relief it is that no matter my inconsistency, the Lord is still faithful. Despite my failures and ups and downs and insecurities, HE IS FAITHFUL. He knows what I need before I ask and before I even know that I need something from Him. I have seen that so much lately. Especially in my job. I have been getting lots of compliments on the work I am doing, but I can say without a question, that it is FULLY 100% the Lord and He knows that more then anyone else. He knows where my heart is right now, even though I am not even sure where it is.

So today I am thankful that even though I am a complete and utter mess, He is faithful. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. He loves me no matter what.

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' "
- 2 Corinthians 12:9

get real.

so im getting terrible at blogging... of course, i am still reading them, but just not participating in them...

im exhausted... but i dont think its because a lack of sleep. that could totally be part of it but i think its more just an emotional exhaustion. i dont even want to talk about it bc ill probably start crying but basically i just miss home. and im not even sure where that is anymore. its another one of those times where i remember that this place is not my home.

Easter is my favorite season and holiday of all, but i havent taken the time to enjoy it. ive been lazy and selfish. hate admitting that but truth hurts. i have so many things to be thankful. why am i not focusing on them? why did Jesus make the biggest, most costly, sacrifice anyone could ask for, and i am sitting here in self pity?

Jesus. I confess that I have been selfish. I confess my doubt and unbelief. I confess my messed up priorities. Did I confess my selfishness? Lord, forgive me.

I cannot say thank you enough for your sacrifice of giving your life for ME. You didnt have to, but You chose to. its mind boggling. I am thankful even though I know I haven't been living in a way that would show my deepest gratitude. i will start now. Jesus you are good. Your love abounds. Your grace is sufficient. Forgive me.