pure excitement!

Wow! I am terrible at blogging... Good at reading others, but bad about keeping mine up... Oh well :)
So I can't sleep, so I thought I would do a quick catch up...
October 2...(I may have mentioned this once before:) best day of my life thus far... I got to marry this incredibly handsome man, who loves Jesus and loves me :)
Fast forward.... We spent Thanksgiving in Cortez, Colorado with his family... It was good, but hard being away from mine! Words cannot suffice for how thankful I am for my new family that God has blessed me with! I absolutely could not ask for better in-laws or a better bro and sis in-law... They are such a blast! I LOVE THEM!!! Curtis and I got home and put up Christmas decorations, and thanks to mom, we had a full house of them :) It was so cozy!

Fast forward....We spent Christmas Eve at our house with my brother, mom, and mike. I made Curtis' fav, chicken pot pie! We played games and enjoyed time together! My mom and I made cookies and home made cinnamon rolls... They turned out fabulous if you were wondering! :)

Rich, Cristie, and my bro stayed the night with us on Christmas Eve... and we all spend Christmas morning together! It was so nice to be home for our first Christmas together... the morning was the only time it felt like Christmas all season! Then RJ and Rach hosted Christmas day! We ate yummy food and played basketball because it was a good 50 degrees outside :) It didn't feel like Christmas, but I wasn't sad! Because Jesus is bigger then my feelings! Thank goodness!

So then on Sunday after church, Curtis and I rode up to Powderhorn with his parents! Powderhorn is the closest ski resort to us! We stayed up there until today! We had a blast skiing, eating, and playing games! We laughed so much!

We drove home today in a blizzard... I mean, of course there was no snow when we got home, but coming off the mountain was a white out!

Curtis and I put up all the Christmas decorations tonight and got everything cleaned up! Let me just brag on my incredible husband real quick... He is the biggest help ever... He did more then I could have asked of him! I am sooooo thankful for a man who does above and beyond!

Ok so, yes, it is almost one in the morning... but I CAN'T SLEEP... GUESS WHAT?!?!

JOHNNY, BROOKE, AND KINSLEY get here tomorrow afternoon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They are staying with us til Saturday and then we are all driving over to Denver to go to the last Bronco game of the season and staying with Brooke's parents! YAY!!!!!!!

And on that note... I am going to try to sleep again... wish me luck! God is soooo GOOD! Thank you Lord for your incredible blessings!!

Things are craaaazy right now!

It has been a whirlwind couple of weeks. We got married 12 days ago. It already seems like so long ago. Maybe because a lot has happened in the past couple weeks. Besides embarking on an incredible journey that the Lord has blessed me with, there have been a few other big things happen.

For our honeymoon, we went to Telluride, CO/ Mountain Village, CO. It was absolutely perfect. Everything about October 1-7 was indescribable. We had a about 190 guests at our stunning outdoor wedding. White tents, twinkle lights, in 75 degree weather, yummy food, dancing, with all (almost all) of my loved ones. Seriously, I do not know what more could a girl ask for? It was a perfect day.

We came back to reality, late Tuesday evening, to house full of presents and all of my things, still in boxes. Slightly overwhelming. :) Curtis and I, with the help of my sweet mom, are finally settled in to our great little condo. We are not completely done with things, but for now, it is perfect.

I got a very bitter sweet phone call last Thursday night. My Papa, who is very dear to me and my entire family, passed away. He went peacefully, but it was an incredibly emotional night. My mom and I drove as quickly as we could to say goodbye to him. His five children were there, along with me and a couple of my cousins. This may sound very strange, but there is something so precious about seeing grown children weep over their father, who is with the Father.

Through the deep sorrow with the loss of our grandpa, I just want to share what the Lord revealed to me the night before my Papa's funeral. He revealed it to me through a dream. The dream is vague, except for one part that is clear as clear can be; the part where I was watching my Papa run and jump with the biggest smile imaginable. He was free, free indeed. Thank You JESUS. Praise You Lord!!

On a completely different note, I am officially FULL time at work. So starting next week, I will have a solid 40 hour work week. Insane. It is a first for me. I feel incredibly blessed with this job and am so thankful that the Lord has me in this place.

It is the season to be thankful and that I am.

IM A FIANCE!!!!!!!

Hopefully all of you have heard by now but I AM ENGAGED to a wonderful, caring, sweet, man named Curtis, that loves me and loves the Lord! He cherishes me and treats me better then I could have imagined! He is a blessing from the Lord and I am so thankful for him! We are now a week into planning the wedding and I am already for it to be over because really all that matters to me is that I am marrying him :) But we are so excited to start life together and for all of you to be a part of this exciting new journey we are on! Thank you for all your love and support! I can't wait for you all to meet this awesome man!

exactly a year ago...

A year ago today I landed in Vienna to start the amazing race with about 70 other interns. We raced through 4 different countries in 3 days. It was absolutely incredibly. Little did I know that the next 7 months of my life would be a priceless journey. It is really emotional for me to think about those 7 months of my life in Slovenia. The blessings that came and are continuing to come from that journey are impossible to explain other then the fact that I have a Savior that loves me dearly. I am in tears thinking about the love that Jesus has for me. It is actually really hard for me to accept because I know more then anyone that I am unworthy of His love. And that is why it is called GRACE. Trying to think about how to put into words everything that Jesus did for me while I was in Slovenia is quite impossible, but I will name a few because I want Him to have all the glory!

The biggest most tangible blessing is Johnny and Brooke. I kinda absolutely hate not doing everyday life with them. They have been the the most influential people in my life in more ways then I can count. For me, they have set the bar for what marriage should look like, for standards to live by, and for loving people. We got the opportunity to be completely vulnerable with each other, and through their vulnerability, it allowed my eyes to be opened to things Christ needed me to see. This is all in addition to, the many hours of prayer, provision, love, and sacrifice, they made for me to spend 7 months in their home. And its just a blessing that they will forever be a huge part of my life. I could go on and on, but won't :) Only God knows how much He used them. I don't even know it all yet!

Second, would be probably be just the desire that God stirred in me. I can honestly say that my desire to do ministry was really a result of being in Slovenia. I love that I get to serve Christ and do ministry as my job! There is nothing I would rather do!

Another thing that is not quite as tangible, but just as real, is my security. And really I am probably the only one who can tell a real difference but I am way more secure and open about who I am. And being able to freely communicate in my relationships about who Christ is and what He has done in me, is changing me! I have a different kind of confidence then I have in the past.

So there a few significant blessing, but I don't know if that's even scratching the surface. I have tools now to fight the enemy that I didn't know before. And I have truth that continues to shape me today!

Wow... I am incredibly thankful for the Lord's goodness and grace!

good news!

I had a conversation with one of the most influential mentors in my life (misty jaggers) before I moved to Colorado in faith. (That was a lot of prepositions in one sentence and is probably a run-on sentence. I probably should have paid more attention in 6th grade when we learned about them... oh well)

Anyway, I remember saying to her, I am not sure what Colorado holds for me, but I am SURE God's plan is bigger and better then I can imagine! Well, to be completely honest, I haven't really felt that the past few months I have been here.... Until last Monday... The church offered me another day of work and free housing! Which is huge! It is a pay raise, but more then that, it means privacy, no more commuting, being able to get more of a consistent community and schedule, and being able to do so much more!!

So on top of all of these huge blessings, there is something more. A huge desire of my heart lately, about the past year or so, has been to be a part of resident life again. I miss college, dorm life, and just that dynamic kind of living. Ok I don't really miss the sharing a room in a dorm, but there is something that is so dynamic about it all. I have this desire to be a resident director one day. And that could be because my RD was and is one of the biggest blessings in my life. She has no idea how much the Lord has used her in my life over and over again!

Ok so all that to say that I will be in charge of 5 summer interns starting in May! I will have two girl interns and 3 guy interns living in the intern house with me. Don't worry, girls and guys are separated!! I AM SO EXCITED! When the position was offered to me, my heart immediately just jumped at the idea! So I told them I wanted to pray about it first, and I did, and accepted on Wednesday! I will be moving to Grand Junction around May 20th! YAY!!!

God is faithful, even when I am not. THANK YOU LORD! AMEN!

Roller coaster!

I am daily reminded of what a roller coaster ride I am! My emotions are so inconsistent and its a daily walk of ups and downs.

Yesterday, being Easter and my favorite holiday and the busiest Sunday of the year at church, I was a bit up and down! I woke up to a text from my dad saying, He is risen and Happy Easter. It immediately started my day out right. Then I walked into the bathroom, bright and early (6:30am), to find an Easter basket from my mom. AND NOOOO!! IM NOT TOO OLD TO GET AN EASTER BASKET! It seriously put the biggest smile on my face! Followed by tears. She thinks it's just something small, but it means more then she'll ever know. I was flooded with the best memories from my childhood. Maybe that's some of why its my favorite holiday!

So with all of that being said, I cannot express what a relief it is that no matter my inconsistency, the Lord is still faithful. Despite my failures and ups and downs and insecurities, HE IS FAITHFUL. He knows what I need before I ask and before I even know that I need something from Him. I have seen that so much lately. Especially in my job. I have been getting lots of compliments on the work I am doing, but I can say without a question, that it is FULLY 100% the Lord and He knows that more then anyone else. He knows where my heart is right now, even though I am not even sure where it is.

So today I am thankful that even though I am a complete and utter mess, He is faithful. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. He loves me no matter what.

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' "
- 2 Corinthians 12:9

get real.

so im getting terrible at blogging... of course, i am still reading them, but just not participating in them...

im exhausted... but i dont think its because a lack of sleep. that could totally be part of it but i think its more just an emotional exhaustion. i dont even want to talk about it bc ill probably start crying but basically i just miss home. and im not even sure where that is anymore. its another one of those times where i remember that this place is not my home.

Easter is my favorite season and holiday of all, but i havent taken the time to enjoy it. ive been lazy and selfish. hate admitting that but truth hurts. i have so many things to be thankful. why am i not focusing on them? why did Jesus make the biggest, most costly, sacrifice anyone could ask for, and i am sitting here in self pity?

Jesus. I confess that I have been selfish. I confess my doubt and unbelief. I confess my messed up priorities. Did I confess my selfishness? Lord, forgive me.

I cannot say thank you enough for your sacrifice of giving your life for ME. You didnt have to, but You chose to. its mind boggling. I am thankful even though I know I haven't been living in a way that would show my deepest gratitude. i will start now. Jesus you are good. Your love abounds. Your grace is sufficient. Forgive me.

So I am loving my job as the Nursery and Pre-k Coordinator. I work Sat- Mon and so far I like and I think I will like more as time goes on and I really am doing everything the job requires! It is stretching and challenging and will hopefully eventually be rewarding! :)
I am trying to stay positive and praise God through the tough times but if I can be completely honest right now I am just discouraged. And doing a lot of questioning.

Did I make the right decision in moving to Colorado?
Was it a mistake?
Is this just the enemy attacking me?
Am I doing something wrong?
Am I ever going to fit in here?
Should I fit in here?
Should I move back to Oklahoma in May where all my friends and community exists already?
Am I doing something wrong?
Am I not doing enough?

I miss my community more then ever right now. Probably because I don't have one here. I don't have anyone pouring into me or am I getting to pour into anyone else! Someone that I respect sooo much said to me, 'its not necessarily what you are doing but WHO you are doing it with'! Well did I make a mistake because I have no community here. Maybe I need to be patient and it will come but I freaking miss my friends! I even had a dream last night that they all surprised me and I was like screaming and crying and so happy at the same time. And then I woke up. Needless to say it hasn't been the greatest day. Besides missing everyone, I need a job and a vehicle. Am I not trusting God? Should I not be here? Am I not listening? Or did I not listen?

Work!!

I start my new job on Monday! I will be working part time at Fellowship Church. I will be in the 0-5 department working the volunteers, making sure parents know where to take their kids, making sure the classrooms have everything they need, etc. They have 3 services, one Saturday night and two on Sunday morning, that I will be in charge of! I am really really excited! It's only going to be on Sat-Mon, so I am looking for another part time job in Delta. Right now I do not have any leads, but maybe some possibilities. I am completely trusting the Lord to provide. His providence in my life has blown me away the past few months and I know He is not going to leave me hanging! He knows my desires and what I need, so I am trusting Him! He is continuing to be faithful even when I fail to be! What a great God we serve! So there is a little update for ya! Hope all is well for you!!!!

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." - Psalm 27:14

"The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace." -Psalm 29:11

another adventure!

I am currently at Denver International Airport, which is one of my favorite airports because it feels like home, or at least that I am close to home :) I can't believe I am really moving to Colorado... I am saying it is temporary right now... My plan is to stay in Delta until May and then see from there. I am saying May because I will be going back to OKC for my little sis's COLLEGE GRADUATION! Holy crappy!! I am so proud of that girl! She is a rockstar if you ask me! But that is a whole other story... SO if it doesn't work out then I will move back and if it does work then I will be moving all of my stuff to Co then... So we will see!

I said all my goodbyes to my incredible community in Oklahoma, AGAIN. I couldn't feel more loved or supported by a group of people. People who support me despite what they want :) Who pray for me and love me no matter how crazy I may be :)

Today I said bye to my sweet nephew and rockstar sister. Then to Amanda and Addie :( We went to Mimi's Cafe (our favorite place to say goodbye apparently :) And we definitely had to play a last game of nertz before I left. And yes we sure did just play in the restaurant :) And we thought of Becca the whole time!!! I am trying to upload pics and its not working :(

I keep saying that I am sad to leave but excited to go :) It totally makes sense even if it doesn't sound like it at first thought :) It's kind of exciting not really knowing what the future holds... It would be boring if I knew what the rest of my life held :) And I KNOW that I know God has incredible things in store for me!! I can't wait to watch Him work out all the details, details that haven't even crossed my mind! God is sooo good and I am stepping out in faith, completely trusting Him! You should try it sometime if you haven't before. Its awesome!!!

"We live by faith, not by sight." - 2 Cor 5:7

colorado!

SOOOO.... its been a crazy few weeks back in the states! I just got home from Colorado! It was a great time spending time with and catching up with my family! I got to spend New Years with a lot of my family and we just had a great weekend together! Then I got to be there with my cousin Nicole who had a baby boy on the 5th. That was fun! And I just spent the week hanging out with the family!

So the question is... WHAT NOW? Well I finally have a little bit of an idea. I made a decision to move to Colorado. I kind of feel like its another step of faith because there is some unknown that comes along with moving. I will be living with my cousin Nicole who has two kids and needs a little bit of help. I will be substitute teaching as soon as I get my license. There is also a possible job at a church. I am praying about what God has for me! And would appreciate your prayers as well!

Just wanted to give a quick update :)